Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Holy shit dude........stairs
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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