it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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