Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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