if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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