I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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