Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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