It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize