Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize