cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize