..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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