Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize