After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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