Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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