I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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