im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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