btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize