he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize