Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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