if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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