I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Everyone says I win the strip club
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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