have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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