Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize