What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
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Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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