I just saw a hot homeless man
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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