i need an iv and a liver transplant
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize