Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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