i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize