I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize