I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize