On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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