At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
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Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
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Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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