no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize