I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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