Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize