i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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