So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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