so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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