so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize