sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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