he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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