birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize