i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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