Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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