Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize