So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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