we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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