I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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