When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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