i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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