I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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